Sri Lanka (Part 1: Real Traveling)

Real traveling-

On the bus from northern India to New Delhi, and headed to Sri Lanka, I talked to the Israeli guy next to me. He had a great story about recently living with a family for a few weeks off the grid. He had been in India 2 months, on what was his second trip, and still hadn’t seen the Taj Mahal. I told him that I’m sure he had a much richer experience staying with the family and that I was envious that he didn’t even care to visit Taj Mahal. With his limited English I had to explain to him what envious meant and I told him I hope to be traveling as free as that soon. Real traveling. This concept just confused him more, but I knew what I meant.

On my first day in Sri Lanka I started getting to know my tuk tuk driver. His name is Raja, he’s 37, married with 2 girls and a boy. He took me to his lunch spot where I followed the custom and ate entirely with my hands for the first time. That simple gesture seemed to be when he really start welcoming me. He then took me to his friends and I smoked cigars and played cards with them. When I sat down one of the guys starts explaining the game. He lays down some non specific cards, one of every suit. He looks me in the eyes and says “Four! There are four types of cards! This is a club, it looks like a flower. This red one is a diamond, shaped like a diamond. This other red one is a heart. And this one, spade… Got it?” I’m kinda half laughing and not sure if he’s serious. I look around to gauge others reactions and they are all just looking at me to see if I comprehend what cards are. I told him I got that part sorted. He then picks through the deck and lays down an entire run of diamonds from 2, 3, 4… to Ace. He stops for a focused breath and looks me in the eyes again “This is an ace, ace is the highest card, nothing beats an ace. This is the king. After the ace, the king is next highest card. King beats everything from the next card down, but it still doesn’t beat the ace”… I stop him at Jack and tell him just to deal and I’ll try my best to pick the game up as I go. They are playing rummy and deal me a monster first hand. I take all but 1 trick and everyone starts laughing about trying to explain the concept of cards to me. Afterwards I went to dinner with Raja and his two friends Manoj (43) and Katsura (39), followed by a local bar for some pregame beers, then to a club. By the end of the night we were boys. Something I found extremely fascinating is that none of them had ever before heard of Las Vegas. This is a first for me. I’ve yet met somebody that had NEVER HEARD of Vegas. To them I was interesting because I was a foreigner and thats it. It was a human connection. The three of them said they wanted to take me around and show me the country. With no plan or direction for Sri Lanka this was music to my ears and I thought back to the conversation with the Israeli on the bus only two days before.

The four of us cruised through the middle of Sri Lanka from west coast to east coast. Through the small villages and hill country, stopping only at local and ultra authentic restaurants. I never once used a utensil and my new friends took pride in that. When a few times someone offered me a spoon they would yell at them that I don’t want it, shoo them away, and subtlety pat me on the back or give me a little nod. I could have been on a road trip with any 3 of my close friends back home. There was junk food, loud music, shit talking, bromance, a three hour wrong turn down a dirt road and two flat tires. We were pulled over three times, and each time the officer was bought off to avoid a ticket (my first experience with bribery x 3). We rode elephants, went to an elephant orphanage, swam in the ocean, and bathed in the pool of the most amazing waterfall.

Several times Raja would let me know that since he invited me, he is responsible for me. He would say “100%!…not 99% safe, 100% safe! I will make sure nothing bad happens to you in Sri Lanka while you’re with me… not 99%, 100%!” Awesome! Not only do I have a tour guide but a guardian angel! If I left his sight for a few minutes the others would play a cruel joke and frantically run to him and pretended I fell or got hurt somehow. Raja would come sprinting over to check on me, followed by punching the others for joking about that. He fell for it each time.

The highlight was, without a doubt, when Raja invited me to stay at his aunt’s house. The small and simple house was in a tiny village surrounded by tea plantations. The aunt had one of the most glowing and contagious smiles I’ve ever seen and it truly lit up the entire room. She spoke very little English and I told them to let her know I thought she had a beautiful smile. She ran into the next room blushing and covering her face. Also staying in the small house were the uncle, 2 cousins, 3 nieces (ages 12,13 & 17) and 1 adopted 3 year old nephew. (The little boys mom died when he was 8 months old and the Aunt and Uncle took him in.) All the kids were extremely shy, but curious. A few times I felt someone looking at me and when I turned around I’d see a vapor trail where a kid once stood. We stayed there for 2 days and by the second the kids became more comfortable with me. The youngest girl mustered up enough courage to ask me ONE question; “Can you sing us one of your English songs?”. Immediately I am heart broken and I know I’m not going to be able to deliver what she wants. Over the past few months traveling I’ve learned that just about every country has old folk songs that are ingrained parts of their culture. America not so much… I can’t stand to disappoint this little girl though, that wants this one thing from me. I start thinking first what song I even know the words to then what would sound like something she wants to hear. All I can think of are Christmas songs, but I can’t exactly sing Jingle Bells or Frosty the Snow Man. I have my mind made up that I’m going to sing O’ Holy Night for this girl and all other ELEVEN people in the room. Even though I don’t know all the words I can easily repeat the same lines without anybody knowing the difference. Just as I bite the bullet and am about to get my groove on I am saved by the bell. The phone rings and it’s the uncles son on the line. Currently living in Saudi Arabia the news of me staying with them reached him and he wanted to say hi over the phone. (This happened a few times, if someone spoke even a little English they would put me on the phone with them)… After the call the singing topic didn’t come back up and I definitely wasn’t going to be the one to remind anyone.

A bad storm on the 1st night knocked out the power for the 2nd night and the candle lit house added to the charming atmosphere. The four of us slept in a small room. There was 1 bed and, even though I resisted, they insisted I slept in it. The 3 of them slept on the floor with bath towels as a mattresses. We sat around eating fish curry and sipping tea by day and smoking cigars and drinking whiskey by night. The uncle invited me to his sons wedding in January and looked devastated when I told him January was going to be impossible for me. I told him that I would be back to Sri Lanka someday and they made me promise I would stay with them for a few days when I came. I let them know nothing would make me happier. They took it a step further and said if I still wasn’t married by 40 that they would arrange for me to marry a Sri Lankan woman! They were dead serious. Arranged marriages are very common here and someone still single in their 30’s very uncommon. When we left the entire household walked us to the car (about 15 minutes up a hill) and saw us off. It’s far and away been the best part of my trip and one of the most enriching experiences of my life. I 100% (not 99%) intend to be true to my word and come back to visit that family. Who knows, next time I may be attending my own wedding.

Bob