The Adventures of Noodle Man

The Adventures of Noodle Man-

I had only 1 foot in the room of my Saigon guesthouse, with the door not yet closed behind me, when the unique character sitting in the bottom bunk fully extends his arm out for an introduction. “Hello! I am Arnot, I come from China, where are you from!?”… “Hi Arnot! I’m Bob from USA, damn glad to meet you!”… “No, not Arnot!, my name is Arnold, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Terminator!”… “Cool Arnold, got it, I think I’ll be able to remember that”. Arnold was intense. He was wide eyed and curious, spoke good English, but over enunciated everything, emphasized wrong syllables and was somewhat robotic. He wore glasses and was built like Bolo Yeung, who played the antagonist Chinese brawler in Bloodsport.

The only other guy in the 6 person dorm room, at the time, was a guy from South Africa who had already checked out, but was getting a last minute phone charge in before his train. As I’m laying claim to my lower bunk and marking my territory, Arnold leaves the room for a few minutes and returns to tell the South African guy “I am sorry friend, I will be unable to accompany you to breakfast, something has come up, but I hope you will forgive me”. As he turns to walk out the door I shoot the South African a questioning glance to find out if Arnold is as odd as he seems or if I’m just imagining it, but he gives me no cues. Later in the afternoon two young guys from the UK and a young Irish couple check in. Over the next few days the six of us would go out together, along with a mix of others from the hostel. Arnold was like that 1 friend every group of friends has. Somebody that is completely socially awkward and doesn’t really fit in, but is a sweetheart and completely harmless. We absolutely loved having him around.

Whenever we would meet other travelers, Arnold would always be the first to introduce himself, and he would always do it the same manner he introduced himself to me. A few times it was more awkward than usual and he would introduce himself to people that were eating dinner or just minding their business at the neighboring table at a bar. Other times it worked as a good icebreaker and we ended up hanging out with a few girls that responded to his intro with “Arnold from China!?! Straight to the point and all business, I like that in a man!” I had a few meals with big Arnold and there was always a few “Arnold moments” without fail… He would address the waitress with his typical raised eyebrows and perfect posture- “Excuse me may I ask you a question?” sure go ahead… “Thank you!… Where is an ATM nearby?” At another group lunch he had a double serving of sandwiches and when asked which one he liked better it was (calculated and serious) “I like them both” then waited a few second and lean in to everyone and whisper “but I think I like the chicken better”. And he’d lean back in his chair again. Once in the dorm room everyone is settled in and minding pretty much their respective businesses big Arnold asks the room a question which acted more of as an announcement; “Excuse me! would anybody mind if I played my favorite music? a few seconds later after we all gave him our blessing, what we hear coming out of his portable travel speaker was; “Oh, my, God Becky, look at her butt / It is so big, she looks like / One of those rap guys’ girlfriends.”… I shit you not his favorite song was Sir Mixalot’s 1992 epic Baby Got Back. This was Arnold. A deep, deep individual and a man of many layers.

I partnered up with another guy from UK, same hostel, different room, named Max. He and I planned on traveling up north together and before leaving the area booked the day tour of the Mekong Delta. Arnold joined us. On the boat to an island village Arnold is sitting next to me and talking to an Australian couple. I’m minding my business, but quickly turn around to involve myself in the conversation once I overhear Arnold say he is writing a book and developing a character called Noodle Man. In the spirit of great superheroes the world over, Noodle Man is a quiet, inconspicuous, simple man with a normal life as a cook. Where Noodle Man differs is that he has a secret recipe for super noodles with magical powers. I tried prodding a bit to find out how Noodle Man would save the world, but his ideas were still in the infancy stage and he had a lot of kinks to work out. All he knew is that the series of Noodle Man books would be based on his travels and thereby an educational accounts of places he visited. Arnold would be inserting characters that he met along the way into his stories. I asked for the super villain and Noodle Mans arch enemy to be based after me. Arnold gave me his word that he would. Of all things I wish for in this life ranging from world peace, to Cubs winning the World Series, to that last piece of street chicken not giving me diarrhea… somewhere near the top of that list, is for me to be watching movie trailers in a theatre several years from now and see “The Adventures of Noodle Man, coming soon to a theatre near you!” Complete with a bearded nightclub operator from Vegas as the Lex Luther.

Bob